Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Fade To Grey

"One man on a lonely platform
One case sitting by his side
Two eyes staring cold and silent
Shows fear as he turns to hide...

...Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey
Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey."

How am I feeling?
Am I sick?
Am I well?
Glad you asked.

I am in no man's land.
I will try to explain.

For someone who sees everything in black and white.
I find myself drowning in grey.
Oh the irony!

As my health improves I have become aware of my own fragility.
I over-think things.
I obsess.
This is unsettling.
A part of the journey.

During the dark lost years I was not aware of how ill I was.
Just as well.
 The memories are terrifying!
Yet strangely comforting.

If this temporary mental fragility is the price I pay for wellness then it is a piece of piss!
Relatively speaking.
You know where I have been.

Here, today, my senses are heightened.
Am I alive?
But not quite living a life?

My greatest achievement in all of this?
I now know the road I need to travel.
Yet there is no map.
Aren't I clever?!

I could not have done this on my own.
I have a virtual social media army by my side.
 Every step of the way.

They are courageous.
They are beautiful.
They are a part of my life.

Walk with me in 2013.
I will gladly hold your hand.

See what trouble awareness brings?!

"...Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey
Ahhhahhh, we fade to grey, fade to grey."

Remember, for as long as we have hope we have a chance.


  1. This is exactly how I feel! It is so frustrating to be going through this yet I feel relived that I now know why I have been feeling this way.

  2. Thank you, I am much better and what you're talking about is years behind me...but it was like that..exactly like that...I'll never forget. It makes me sad to remember but remember I must, I think.


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Thank you, Robert.